4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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