dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
