anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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