you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
