can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
