I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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