Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
