i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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