The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
