It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I supernannyed him into submission
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
