hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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