VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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