i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
True strength comes from lack of pants
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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