Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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