it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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