i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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