You just made me feel so damn special
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
