it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
