weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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