'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
