they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
