Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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