I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Semen is not good for contacts.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We need to get me chipped asap
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
