I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize