threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
