after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
