Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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