So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
