so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
