If you die in college, do you die in real life?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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