I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I love having hate sex.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
