So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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