he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
