Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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