idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
