I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
