Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
