you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
