You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize