I got chris browned last night
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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