I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
