I need to stop coming to work sober
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
