Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
