The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
