i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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