my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
