Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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