hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
