Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
