How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
