like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
