I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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