What a fucking waste of an outfit
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
