did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
