do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize