Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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