well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize