She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
