6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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