you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
