My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
