Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
