Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
