Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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