Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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