So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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