Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
