is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
