Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
