I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
